For most of us, if asked what we strive for in life, we would say things like, “I want peace,” “I want to be comfortable,” or “I want security.” No matter what combination of words that we use, they’re all pretty much the same. We don’t want change, don’t like change, we want certainty and we don’t want the boat rocked. This type of thinking keeps people trapped in all types of comfortable but painful circumstances. How many of us are trapped in a job we hate, but comfortable? Or in a relationship that is unfulfilling but comfortable? You get the point.

As bad as something might be, we grow comfortable with it. We know we don’t like it, but it’s dependable. We know exactly what to expect and as bad as it is, it generally beats the uncertainty associated with change.

In the bad relationship scenario, we stay because we’re not sure if the next relationship is going to be any better. Maybe we can’t attract another relationship. We might even be trading from boring to abusive.

In the job, you know what the day to day is like, you know all of the characters, you know what a jerk the boss is; but, it could be worse somewhere else.

So, we stay because knowingness and security are comfortable and that is what keeps us in place. That is what keeps us from moving toward change and that’s why comfort is a silent killer. It robs you of the future and squashes your dreams.

If you reflect back on your life, you can recall many times that you were forced into change. You were fired or laid-off, which led you to a better job. Or, your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend dumped you, which led you to find a more fulfilling relationship.

Today, there are millions upon millions of people suffering in unfulfilling relationships and dead end jobs. They are stuck because they are terrified of the unknown, fearful of change. They make excuses for staying put in order to justify their lack of courage. Yes, I said it, “It takes courage to make change, to face the unknown.”

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

It is this silent killer that also keeps most people from going back to school to earn a degree that could change their life. The excuses that we make to stay in our comfort zone are many and varied, some sound like this: “I would like to get a degree, but there is so much going on in my life; who has the time?”  “I’m too old to go back to school.” “I’m not sure if I’m smart enough to handle college level academics at my age.”  Again, you get the point. And so life goes on and the years pass and you stay where you’re at – comfortable, but miserable.

Many years ago, my college bound son asked me to give him advice about life. He wanted a ten word, says it all motto to live by.  And it came to me to say this, “Son, whenever you feel comfortable in a situation run from it like it’s a house on fire.”  Of course, he didn’t get it because, like most, he thought comfort was the goal. And so I left him with that “motto” knowing that many decades would pass before he would get it.

Life is yours for the taking. It rewards those who run from comfort and put themselves in uncomfortable and challenging situations. It is there and only there that we grow.

Are you comfortable? Run like hell!